You’re sick of hearing about it, but not as sick as I am of being it
Posted on | June 6, 2007 13 Comments | e-mail | print
My entire world has narrowed to the confinement of the couch. I have several pillows, my laptop, the remote, a novel, and my crochet work-in-progress. I am too sore and tired to do much of anything else.
My stretchmarks have breached my bellybutton and are conquering the area beneath my ribcage. I actually have a few small spots that are bright red — the skin stretched so taut, so quickly, that there will be a scar.
I got an e-mail today from babycenter.com, the website with weekly progress e-mails. This one’s subject line: “Your one-week-old.” I am flipping the bird at it.
I have very little space in my brain for anything other than the choo-choo train of “I’m still pregnant. How am I still pregnant? I’m still pregnant.” I’m only a week overdue, but am looking forward to my O.B. appointment tomorrow. Surely the doc will schedule an induction. Surely Flipper must be ready by now. I get the feeling he’s not coming out without a fight, anyway — after all that “false labor” hoo-ha from yesterday I could count today’s contractions on one hand.
In other news … surely there is other news? Things happening, both inside my house and outside in the world , to talk about? Yes.
Owen continues to call me sweetpea, which just kills. At Target over the weekend, as I was carrying him on my hip (for three minutes at a time) he took my face in both hands and said sweetly, “You done your Target shopping, sweetpea?” He knows how to push my comedy buttons.
Yesterday he woke up at 6:15 a.m., rubbing his eyes and practically sleepwalking, saying, “Dump the trash, Mom. Time to dump da trash.” And then proceeded to empty each of the household wastebaskets into the kitchen garbage can.
Last night he hunkered down in front of my belly button and yelled sternly, “COME OUT, BABY!” I gave my belly a poke and said, Flipper, you listen to your older brother.
The sentiment is getting old, I know, but I just gotta say, it’s a good thing I’ve got him to take my mind off the torture.
As far as the world at large: I don’t have much. I’ve been watching “So You Think You Can Impersonate A Celebrity” or whatever the fuck that show is called. I’ve also been watching All My Children, General Hospital, some show called Haley’s Hints, and Oprah. Television pretty much sucks but it sucks a hell of a lot more if you watch it in the daytime and don’t have cable.
I’ve also been flipping through a few magazines: Adorn and Blueprint. I know there’s a copy each of Wired and Discover laying around here somewhere, too, but I’ll be damned if I can see them from the sofa. Therefore, for my purposes, they don’t exist.
I’m naturally a very lazy person, but Friday will mark the end of the second full (wasted) week off work. Pre-maternity leave, is what this is turning out to be. I’m not precisely bored — I will always have projects to dream up and possibly work on — but I am definitely reminded that it’s best if unemployment and I remain distant acquaintances. I am a better person if I am required to go somewhere and do something slightly productive on a semi-regular basis.
Well then. Was that as boring to read as it is to live through? For your sake, I hope not. I’m also hoping that Flipper is still doing well in utero, but especially hoping that he’s amenable to vacating the premises sooner rather than later. Each day he chooses “later” feels like it’s three weeks long.
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13 Responses to “You’re sick of hearing about it, but not as sick as I am of being it”
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Oh hey you guys, it's me, Supa. Things I enjoy: talking on my bananaphone, being a nerd, writing, sewing, writing about sewing, giving my husband high-fives, playing Nintendo with my kids, playing with technological gadgetry, knitting, and reading decorating books. Did I write down nachos? Add that in there.
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June 6th, 2007 @ 6:55 pm
ok, one thing: how incredibly lame that my definition of “outside world” right now is television and magazines? yeargh.
it’s like being home sick on summer vacation. Don’t let this happen to you! *cue scary music*
Reply to thisJune 6th, 2007 @ 8:07 pm
When I was in college and it was closing time at the local bar (um, you know, so I’d heard), they’d switch the station to some obnoxious country music station and turn up all the lights. Maybe that would shoo baby Flipper out—-I know it worked on me (er, them, yes, it worked on them, those hypothetical physics-homework-avoiding/bar-going types, not that I knew anyone like that.).
Reply to thisJune 6th, 2007 @ 8:28 pm
DUDE. wow. i feel for you. hang in there!
Reply to thisJune 6th, 2007 @ 9:38 pm
WOW Hope Flipper gives you some relief before the week is out.
Reply to thisJune 6th, 2007 @ 9:42 pm
oh, man supa. i’m hoping and praying that flipper get’s owen’s message tonight. i love that he’s been such a sweetheart to you through all this. cheers - and lets hope things start to move tonight.
Reply to thisJune 6th, 2007 @ 10:05 pm
Help baby Flipper to be born with maternity acupressure. It’s natural, safe and pretty effective way to start your labor
Good luck!
Reply to thisJune 6th, 2007 @ 10:26 pm
I’ll have Jebus send some pushes or inducement or something your way. I’d ask Mojo, but he’d side with Flipper in the staying where it’s comfy. Good luck with the OB!
Reply to thisJune 7th, 2007 @ 7:37 am
hi supa, found my way here from Simply Sassy’s site. Very nice to meet you. i enjoyed your post, and life is fun to read from other’s “positions” (even from your couch lol ) Flipper will arrive when time is right! i know my first did her own time table on arrival, but that was years ago, today’s info is much better. best of luck with the OB, and hang in there kid!
Reply to thisat least you have a laptop! my puter is very far away from the couch! (and i don’t think i could re-arrange things that much! lol) and i do know about daytime tv and no cable! ^5’s ya on that one…it stinks!
have a good day and thanks for a good read!
June 7th, 2007 @ 7:51 am
Hey, MB we’re all thinking of you! Hang in there! It’ll all be worth it! Besides, 15 years from now when flipper is being a naughty teenager you can pull the guilt trip of “you were ____ days late making me uncomfortable in the heat of the summer, but I put up with it because I love you. And this is how you repay me?”
Reply to thisJune 7th, 2007 @ 9:19 am
what a dollbaby that owen is… nice you have a sweet boy with soft hands to soothe you.
if you induce, don’t forget: tell ‘em to start you at a bare trickle of Pitocin and increase the dosage slowly. otherwise you may get slammed hard and fast.
good luck mb!
Reply to thisJune 7th, 2007 @ 9:24 am
Poor Supa! I was only 3 days late and thought it was torture. Come on, now, Flipper. We really mean it.
Reply to thisJune 7th, 2007 @ 12:50 pm
One word for ya: Pitocin. he ain’t payin rent, ya know.
Reply to thisJune 7th, 2007 @ 4:52 pm
Ok, seriously, you need to update twitter every few hours, because sitting here at work in front of a computer where I can check in all the time has me all nervous for you when I don’t see an update! I’m all, FLIPPER MUST BE HERE!! ;o)
Also, Goldfish?? That is so cute! Where do you find guys that are that cute!! That go around thinking, hmmm. What would cheer up my overly pregnant wife…Hmm…I know, GOLDFISH!
That’s awesome!
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