The special ingredient is drool!
Posted on | June 7, 2006 13 Comments | e-mail | print
You know what? 17 months old is not old enough to help in the kitchen. You might think it is. You might think that dragging a kitchen chair up to the counter and installing your toddler on it is a good idea when you are making banana bread but my friends, you would be mistaken. It is not Mother-Child Culinary Bonding. It’s a test of patience.
Me: First we preheat the oven! And here we have our box of instant bread mix. Can you say Betty Crocker, darling? Good boy!
Owen: Ttttppppbth.
Me: That’s right, a quarter cup of oil. No, no, baby, I’ll do it. OK, it says two eggs! No, no — I got it, hon, here, hold this spoon.
Owen: *bang bang bang*
Me: And then we add the powder! No, no, honey, give Mommy the oregano. Thank you. OK, ready? Let’s mix!
Ahhhh … hold up, honey, spoon goes IN the batter. No … baby, please don’t fling … OK, you want a fork instead, all right … IN the batter, Owen, IN the batter …
Owen: *fling*
Me: Owen! IN THE BATTER, thank you, OK. Now we mix mix mix … hey, you, up here. We’re up here. All righty — HEY! No, honey, those are eggshells, you can’t eat them. They have icky germs. Oh … oh, OK, fine, you can crush them.
Owen: *splatter crush drip*
Me: NO! Not in the MOUTH! No eat eggshells, Owen! No!
Owen: *big sad eyes*
Me: I know. I know you want to eat them. But eggshells not for eating. Not for eating, OK?
All right. Here, I found your fork. It was under the dishwasher. Mommy will just wash it off … GET YOUR HAND OUTTA THERE, oh for the love of Jesus. OK. Here’s your — NO! Not in the mou— Owen! Do not hit your mommy. NO HITTING. Hitting is not OK. Here, Mommy will help you. It’s all right, honey. Aw, honey, it’s OK. Aww. You don’t have to cry, it’s all right. I’m not mad. You just can’t hit, OK? All right! Now, let’s cook! You and me, let’s cook this banana bread, OK? OK. Ready? Got your fork? Good boy! Fork goes in the batter! Good boy! Let’s mix the batter. Mix mix mix. Mmm, smells goo— Uh-uh. UH-UH. No, no honey. NO! Owen! NO. NO NO NO NO NO—
Owen: *covered in batter*
Me: *Sigh.*
All right, Owen! All done! We’re all done here. … Mommy needs to have a couple drinks. Go bug your father.
… And make sure to give him a big hug.
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13 Responses to “The special ingredient is drool!”
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Oh hey you guys, it's me, Supa. Things I enjoy: talking on my bananaphone, being a nerd, writing, sewing, writing about sewing, giving my husband high-fives, playing Nintendo with my kids, playing with technological gadgetry, knitting, and reading decorating books. Did I write down nachos? Add that in there.
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June 8th, 2006 @ 7:08 am
Awww- mother-child bonding over a baking experience. It so makes me laugh!!
Reply to thisJune 8th, 2006 @ 7:21 am
He he he he he. I am laughing with you. With you, I promise.
Our early intervention therapists have suggested cooking with the kid. I have yet to try it. Why? Well, you just described why.
Reply to thisJune 8th, 2006 @ 8:06 am
Thanks for the warning but I can’t see what the problem is. It sounds so fun and not at all stressful or messy.
Hey password protecting…is this like I do so my family can’t read it but all my blogger friends can or is it to keep your blogging friends out too?
Reply to thisJune 8th, 2006 @ 9:23 am
yeah, what’s up with the password and why don’t i have one???
Reply to thisJune 8th, 2006 @ 12:14 pm
Um, ditto on the password.
I have a HILARIOUS video of my dad, sister, and me (I?) making banana bread back in the day, and my sister forcefully (she was like, 4 or something)wiped the egg off the spatula, sending egg flying through the air, and eventually landing all over my dad’s face.
good times.
Reply to thisJune 8th, 2006 @ 2:08 pm
great story! make sure to recite it to his girlfriend at his high school graduation party!
Reply to thisJune 8th, 2006 @ 3:29 pm
I usually need a drink after attempting to bake even without a toddler. You’re a brave woman, Supa.
Reply to thisJune 8th, 2006 @ 4:21 pm
I usually need a couple of drinks BEFORE I bake with Annabel.
Reply to thisJune 8th, 2006 @ 5:44 pm
I know what your talking about. I tried the same thing. Good intentions do not make blueberry muffins. Good intentions makes BLUE muffins with egg shells - and only about three of them at that.
Reply to thisJune 8th, 2006 @ 6:24 pm
Cooking is pretty hard with 3 year olds too! They seem to want to do it their way, instead of what you tell them, even though they understood perfectly what you just said.
That was great, the way you described your cooking adventure, I could see it in my head as I was reading it.
Also, password? I do not have no stinkin’ password either!
Reply to thisJune 9th, 2006 @ 2:08 pm
Password?
Reply to thisJune 9th, 2006 @ 2:10 pm
Hilarious post, by the way. So been there. Learned the hard way
Reply to thisJune 10th, 2006 @ 10:05 pm
Just wanted to check on this: The oregano didn’t actually go in the banana bread, right?
I love *fling* and *big sad eyes* as responses.
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